Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Because all Canadians live in igloos, right?











This is for Prof Tina who needs her day of sunshine!

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A : Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary ,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

(This brilliant example of smartassery brought a tear to my eye! So very proud I am of being Canadian!)

12 Comments:

At 10:31 AM, April 24, 2007, Blogger yankeegirl said...

lol, yes the world needs more smartassery!

 
At 11:28 AM, April 24, 2007, Blogger Unbalanced said...

LMAO... I love it. Thanks for the laugh.

 
At 3:33 PM, April 24, 2007, Blogger the only daughter said...

Hootin & hollerin! Too funny!

 
At 5:45 PM, April 24, 2007, Blogger SassyFemme said...

LMAO! How can people be so utterly stupid?!?!

 
At 11:29 PM, April 24, 2007, Blogger WenWhit said...

[giggle]

 
At 12:36 AM, April 25, 2007, Anonymous merryn said...

Thanks for the laughs. It reminds me of my favorite tourist question from Crater Lake (we kept lists) - "When do the deer turn into elk?"

 
At 6:27 AM, April 25, 2007, Blogger Gunfighter said...

Sigh...

 
At 11:55 AM, April 25, 2007, Blogger Claire Joy said...

Oh Merryn...Probably right after the Hippo Races!
This was too funny!

 
At 3:46 PM, April 25, 2007, Anonymous Professor Tina said...

Zanne-I am barely able to write this response I am laughing so hard. Thank you for bringing such joy to my day! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
PS. The Winter Olympics are coming to Vancouver? Really? WOW that's amazing!
From one proud and informed Canadian to another. ::)))))::)))

 
At 4:13 PM, April 25, 2007, Blogger Zanne said...

Yankeegirl, amen sistah! (PS are you Canadian by any chance?)

UnB, hey you, glad it made you laugh! Hugs!

Only D, so glad! :D

Sassy, ah, now there's the rub...

WenWit, yes, giggle indeed! ;)

Merryn, oh help me people!!!!

Gunfighter, yes I know, but then there are people like--an American who can sing my national anthem--and my faith is restored!

Claire Joy, roflmao!

Prof Tina, actually I'm not sure if the Olympics really are being held in Vancouver, but if they are it's definitely the winter ones because, like you know, we only have cold wintry weather in Canada! ;)

 
At 7:03 AM, April 26, 2007, Blogger JMK said...

I love Canada and Canadians! These are brilliant and prove, once again, that we Americans are too stupid to realize how really stupid we are. One day, I must emigrate to Canada. I want to be smart and funny again.

 
At 9:11 AM, April 27, 2007, Blogger Zanne said...

JMK, hey one day maybe we can all emigrate to Canada--and just so you know, you ARE smart and funny! :D

 

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