The queen has spoken…
And I’ve been commanded to post, so post I will (whether I actually have anything to say or not, or feel like it or not, or want to or not…I think you get the gist!) Actually, it’s flattering to be missed, so kiss kiss to the queen (oops! I mean) Princess (although you must admit one does miss the alliteration - you know who you are Your Royal Pinkness!) ;)
Anyhoo sports fans you’ve caught me at a fortuitous moment—somewhere between ovulating on a full moon (which was last week) and being on the cusp of the pms week (starting any minute now!). Ain’t it glorious to be a girl?!
Actually, that’s not far off from where I’ve been in my mind these last 10 days or so. Been reading books on feminine spirituality. Big surprise—I’m a woman and I’m spiritual! Ok, enough of that…but let me share something that I was pondering this morning. I wondered what my life would have been like if when I was a little girl there’d been someone who had seen the signs of who I was becoming; someone who could have explained to me that I was going to be a little bit different but that it would be alright; someone who would have affirmed my desire to be known and loved as a normal thing; someone who could have shown me how to live life full out without fear or regrets. I wonder about the myriad ways my life would have been different.
Now what I’m talking about is not the deficiency of good parenting—love ya mom!—but rather about the connection and community that most of us have missed with each other. Women have a different kind of power, a different kind of strength. It’s the strength to nurture and the power to heal. There’s this connection that happens, or can happen, because we are what we are—females of the species. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who got all the love, acceptance, affection, or affirmation that they needed or wanted and no one is to blame because how can we give what we haven’t received.
But you know what I’ve been noticing lately? When I risk saying how I feel and am honest about where I’m at, I find there are people nodding their heads and going, “yeah, me too.” Maybe that’s where the connection starts. Listening to and seeing each other. Maybe we become the wise women for each other that we needed and wanted ourselves. That connection isn’t lost, it’s just forgotten sometimes and what we haven’t been trained to do we can learn by remembering what we once needed and desired. I will become my own wise woman who nurtures and is nurtured by your wise woman, and together we’ll create a safe place where everyone can just be.
Another one of my dreams…
posted by Zanne @ 9:09 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Hey, I have a mug with Princess of Quite a Lot on it! No joke! Short on time now, will have to come back and read more later. Bottom picture... very, very true, and a life's lesson worth remembering for all of us.
Hi Zanne!
Happy to see you are back! This is a great post. Sometimes it can be difficult to think of anything to post on a blog. Especially when you are in the middle of doing very personal inner-work! I think along the same lines as yourself. I often wonder how I might have turned out had I been empowered and supported and guided, (rather than bullied, critisized and misled!) I reckon I would have turned out the same way-- but much earlier and with a lower therapy bill.
There is a lovely little book you might like, called 'Circle of Stones; Woman's Journey to Herself' by Judith Duerk. It is full of wonderful meditative exercises. If you can't find a copy in the States, let me know and I will post you one from the UK! (((hugs)))
LBPx
Princess, I mean Sassy :D, glad you liked the pics! I love Mary Engelbreit. Truthfully, I wrote this post and then reread it and went, "whoa, people are gonna ask you what you've been smokin'" So, if that happens, I'm gonna blame it all on you! Just giving you a heads up! ;D
LBP, I laughed when I read your comment because Circle of Stones was one of the books I was reading! How funny is that! The other one, since we seem to have similar interests, was a book by Sue Monk Kidd called "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter." I'm reading it for the 2nd time and highly recommend it!
As for the "what if's" I think part of the faith journey is being able to say everything had a purpose and I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. It's not always easy, but I'll try if you will too! :D Hugs!
I love the way you look at things on such a deep level, always trying to find a better way or understand a purpose and then make it better. You will be a fabulous priest because of your compassion.
I'm also a big Mary Engelbreit fan. One of my favorites of hers is Don't Look Back. When Fran and I were falling in love, long distance, that just felt like focus point, guiding us to each other. Okay, enough of that....
I like how you spoke of "taking the risk" in saying how you feel. It IS a risk, one that I, personally, only feel safe enough taking in the online environment. You're so right, women have immense powers to nurture, listen, and hold each other up. I do think that it tends to happen more in the more mature than college or early adult years, for the most part, once we settle into some level of comfort within our own skin, per se. I think, on many levels, its easier to nurture others than to seek nurturing, how to break past that, to comfortably seek and provide both, is the question.
PS... whole other topic I won't drone on about, but there are a lot of books out on the psychology of girls, adolescent girls in particular, that are just fascinating.
The older I get the more I tend to say what I really mean. And, I've been amazed to find that no one has thrown stones at me (yet). I do try not to offend anyone too much, but I've decided life is just too short and precious to go on pretending to be "normal".
Dear UnB you are so sweet. I don't know so much about this depth thing to which you refer, but my brain just thinks the way it thinks and I try to be true to that. I always appreciate how quick you are to encourage me! Big hugs to you!!!
Sassy, yes I loved Don't Look Back too. For a few years in a row I had a daily tear off calendar and saved so many of her illustrations. Remember "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"? :D
It is easier to disclose things here in cyber space but you know what? I think of it as practice for doing it in person. I relate to the challenge of asking to be nurtured, I'm notorious for hiding when I'm hurting, but I think it's partly about learning to recognize that deep inner voice that says, "I need ..." and then growing in wisdom to choose who to take that to. Not totally sure, still trying to figure it out myself. :)
Merryn, you know that's one of the things that originally drew me to you--your honesty. And as for normal--what on earth is that?!!!!!!! ;)
One of those Stephen Covey principles says: "Seek first to understand, THEN be understood"
Always made sense to me... and I ain't a girl... or gurl, grrrl, well, you know what I mean.
Gunfighter
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